My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
