He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
