also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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