ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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