I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
