Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
