u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So vagazzling was a success
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
