its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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