Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
