I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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