The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
