i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
