What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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