Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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