I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize