if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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