the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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