tonight lets celebrate not being married
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
