Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
sarcasm needs its own font
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
