I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
