i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
