I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
