Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
