She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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