i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
