Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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