that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
