youre lurking in front of me
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize