Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
