The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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