Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
