i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
