So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize