I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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