This is not my ceiling
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
