i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
