Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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