I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize