I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
