i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
