dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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