break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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