I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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