the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
