Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
