why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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