He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
