Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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