butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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