Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
