can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
