Got a toothbrush?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
