Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
