No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
