I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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