Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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