I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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