I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
