ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize