I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
how drunk are you?
Several
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
