He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
