Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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