paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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